I always wished I was a little bigger…. Well not bigger just a little more ‘womanly’. Sometimes I feel trapped in a 13year old body or maybe a rather skinny 17year old… the point remained; I needed to gain weight (yes the weight everyone scurries around trying so desperately to lose), but then again not just weight in general but in all the ‘right’ places. I tried eating a lot of junk, eating late at night (like 3am!) i even started taking pills at some point, pills meant for anorexic patients just to gain a little weight. But attempts proved abortive my body was determined and put up a good fight to stay just the way it was.
So now I’m lost. Retreating into my ever welcoming shell I try to figure out just what it means to be me. I stared into the mirror of His word and saw a bit of what was me. As I stared and stared the picture became a little clearer and I loved what I saw! I could actually say ‘I love me’ and sentence anyone who didn’t to an electrifying transformer hug without the usual bite in the remark. It became much easier to love others as I spent less time trying to look comfortable in my own skin. We really can’t give what we do not first possess.
So I start out on a new journey discovering what it means to be a young woman, a God-woman in this 21st century… Not as the dictionary defines it, not as feminists claim it’s supposed to be but as God set it in stone to be. My search for a little more weight put me on the right path to not just looking like a woman but being the woman I was meant to be…