Having close girlfriends is one of the best things that could ever happen to a girl. I mean try not having to explain yourself as you would to a guy; your female friends take one look at you and they “get” it. On the other hand, it could be a complete disaster. I mentor college females and so I’ve heard, seen and experienced a lot of the female drama that exists in our world. I have had some girls come to see me and cry over things that their close female friends did. They would often say things like “but I just don’t understand why she would ever do that” Unfortunately it is what it is. I personally view it as a necessary evil in life.


Many women are insecure about themselves and often times they project that towards others. And make no mistake about it, just because you’re the self-proclaimed best friend, it does not make you immune to the missiles. If you are in a friendship with a female who is very insecure and talks bad about pretty much everyone, chances are your turn is coming. It’s like the saying, “don’t play with a pig if you don’t want to get dirty” Why? Because that’s all they know; women in that situation are primed to throw shade at other people including their close ones. They have the Phd syndrome – Pull her down. When someone is insecure about themself, everyone else bears the brunt of it.

I have some amazing girlfriends; I have also had some really terrible ones. The difference as I have noticed is in security and support. My wonderful girlfriends are the ones who push me to be a better person; they celebrate my successes and help me combat my weaknesses. The really awful ones are only concerned about being “better”; it doesn’t matter if we’re both failing as long as they’re not so bad. So in my awful friendships I’m constantly feeling less of a person because the other person is pulling me down and making me feel bad about some of the things that are my passions. Women can be jealous creatures, the moment they sense that someone is even close to doing better, the claws come out. Please note that not all women are this way; it is because of these awful experiences that I can appreciate the wonderful girlfriends in my life.

Some girls often say “I can only have close guy friends, I don’t trust females.” Well trust me on this, there will come a time in your life when those female friendships become your saving grace. I was perhaps one of those people who said the “only guy friends” thing, but today I love having girlfriends. Some of my best times consist of me and my closest girlfriends going into town and hanging out, praying together or celebrating a mutual friend’s special moment. There is something to be said for female friends. We are women; we share common pains and happiness. We are also the only people who could cry for no reason and yet take one look at each other and understand.

Ladies if you have wonderful girlfriends in your life, celebrate them today and every day. For those who do not have any, please don’t miss out on the opportunity to share your laughter and tears with people who will appreciate you no matter where or when. Friendship is a beautiful gift, so much so that even our Father in heaven seeks out a friendship with us.

“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?”
– Henry David Thoreau

Ibukun Jaiyeola

Image from anne-mariewithadash.blogspot.com

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