This is the weekly musings of a young Nigerian. Hope you like it.
For those of you looking forward to this experience I advice you “gird your loins” and be prepared to be either extremely disappointed or extremely happy. I was looking forward to this experience like a fat like a fat child is lusting after chocolate. It was a definite revelation for me, so I sat down and started chronicling my trials and happeness.
The NYSC experience was supposed to be the very best experience to me but it ended up being a time I kept wising to finish and I am still patiently waiting for it to finish. A lot of people might be thinking lazy boy you don’t like work abi? No it’s not the work part that leaves me angry and frustrated it’s the treatment that comes with being a corper that has me frustrates.
I was posted to Abuja (yipeee for me right) or so I thought, I got to camp all fresh-faced ajebutta without a care in the world only to be told to run with my box on my head from one place to another, I thought to myself “me that soldier can’t be expecting me to run with that load on my head then all of a sudden like some movie people started running with their boxes on their heads in fear and shock and I joined them for fear of being the first person to be told to frog jump during the camp.
Registration was a breeze despite the fact that Nigerians being Nigerians never like to queue so definitely some amusing tussles happened at the lines, next up uniforms as usual everything was undersized so I had to alter everything they gave me and dispose of the shoes as I couldn’t get my size.
After all this camp was fun, late night drinks with the boys, talking up girls during parade, lying to the soldiers that I had some rare disease to avoid going for early morning jogging (seriously who jogs at 5:00 in the morning), harassing the soldiers in their sleep and who can forget the ever fabulous Marmi-market I, I use the word fabulous here because there wasn’t a place as fabulous as the marmi market for miles. Then the day I was dreading came Endurance trek, no rare disease could keep me away from the trek, I lied and lied yet I had to go and it was fun and if you think about it I lost maybe 5 kg during my struggle down the road.
The camp ended and with that ended the three week long fun experience. In my mind I had Sasha’s song Making Money playing throughout in my mind because primary assignment meant money, chilling at the new Silverbird Centre in Abuja, dinner at the Oriental Restaurant and loads of fabulous things no more calling Mommy Up for sparse change for the movies, I could already hear the girls asking me for my yet to be bought Blackberry Bold2 pin(yes I visualized the model in my dreams) while the boys looked on in anger.
My dreams were dashed when I went to NCC (Nigeria Communication Commission) the most fabulous place to work in; I mean all those fabulous people in a well ventilated building could make me happy eternally but noooo!!!!!!!, the forces did not like the thought of me having after hour’s drinks with people whose accents could even out-class that of the Queen. This was a terrible thought to the fates so they decided to coerce with the people at NCC to have me! rejected with no were else to go making me have to wear that dreadful uniform and roam the streets of Abuja looking for a job, as if that wasn’t painful enough people kept saying “Ajebo corper no cry e go better” and it gets worse when I went to offices to look for jobs people told me in a politely insulting manner with noses turned up like my uniform was a bad odor and I dragged in a swarm of flies through their faux rugs and say to me to sorry we don’t take OTONDOS. I would then leave the office looking dejected in my market bought wayfarers thinking to myself when did it come to this people looking at me in disdain because they are in a posh office and I am in my multi colored tailor altered khaki’s wondering to myself the medium I would use to insult the next fellow that would say “Orobo Ajuwaya” to me.
The frustration was killing me gradually as I would step outside and see other corpers dressed in real clothes heading to work while me and my trusted sidekick would parlay the streets of Abuja from cab to cab feigning a heat stroke just because we were to lazy or wanted to avoid insults from frustrated security men.
It then struck me, many before me have gone through this before me and I would have to go through this till the end of 2010, I groaned in false anticipation as I headed back to my house with my two down-trodden housemates in tow to hang up our uniforms till another job searching day comes.
This is Frustrated Otondo signing out till next time………………….