Hi ladies…and the few other men who read this column. This article was inspired by my colleague’s work on women earning a higher salary (to find the original article, click on the It’s a guy’s thing link on the YADA website). I personally find this topic interesting because it ties in a lot of gender issues and introduces even newer ones. I’m probably going to vex some people as I tackle this issue, so bear with me if you disagree. I’m neither sexist nor a feminist; I just speak what I know.
Typically this is an issue for married couples, unless you’re housemates with a man you’re not married to – don’t do that to yourself girl. Ok! What does the bible say of marriage and the roles of men and women? Peter was pretty clear when he said “…wives be subject to your husbands” (1 Pet 3:1). I know some women are kicking their computers right now and probably accusing me of blaspheming the women code…but like I said, I’m not feminist, it’s in God’s word so that’s all the truth I need. As a woman, if you bring in six extra zeros on your paycheck while your husband is barely scratching four, you are not at liberty to lord it over him or throw it in his face. No matter the size of your pocket, he’s still your husband. And just as Christ is over the church as her bridegroom, he is over you too. I know many great and successful marriages where the wife earns more, and you can’t tell unless an insider breaks news.
Ladies you have to understand a man’s ego. Do not bruise your man’s ego, especially if you’ve got a good man. If you’re thinking “well I work hard for my money, why shouldn’t I be allowed to show that I bring home the bulk of it?” Well it’s not their business anyway. A good woman is concerned for her family as a whole, not what people think about her finances. You should be concerned about making your man look good in public so that when people see him it’s not going to matter who earns what, they’ll just say “wow, that family looks so good together…I wanna have something like that.”
There’s this Tyler Perry movie “the family that Preys” and Sanaa Lathan plays Andrea, an ambitious woman who is married to a construction worker Chris. Her husband is pretty ambitious, he has a vision, but he doesn’t have a supporting wife. Agreed Andrea earned more than Chris but she threw that in his face and crippled him. Ladies, you don’t want to cripple your man.
This is a topic for another article but I’ll hint on it. A man can lose everything he has and still survive, but if he loses his vision, he’s as good as dead. The bible says “my people perish for lack of vision.” Ladies it’s not about the size of his pocket, it’s in his vision. You want to be with a man who has some kind of vision or goal or good something that drives him, and you want to support that. Be that Prov.31 woman who is hardworking and excellent. She probably does more work than her husband does and he still gets the credit for it. But we know that he is who he is because she supports him. Every lead actor needs a good supporting cast. If you cripple your man you have a liability, so why do it? Support him, encourage him…share in his vision and grow together.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her.” Prov31:28
By Ibukun Jaiyeola