When Celine Dion listed rain and tax as inevitable things, the only other thing she should have listed was the impossibility of getting a job. I have been jobless for ages; at least it feels like that. If not for greedy bankers on Wall Street, everything would have gone according to plan. Yes, I had a plan. At this point, I should have finished my Msc. program and gotten a job with one of the “Big Four” accounting firms and look forward to getting promoted and travelling round the world. I’ll wake up in Paris; have a meeting Lagos and go to bed in Shanghai. That was the plan. A dream I was going to wake up and live. But someone I’ve never met got greedy, came up with some jargon financial strategy and he woke me up … aaargh. For his sake, I hope I never meet him. Back in 2000, I did not really get it when Shaggy said “the standard of society is motivated by greed”, but now I do.

Pre-recession, people were getting jobs in top investment banks and consulting firms without doing finance related courses. It was a free-for-all market compared to this present day dog-eat-dog mentality. If dog eat dog, what are cats going to do? Companies are reducing costs and downsizing manpower is top of the list. I have a friend that studied Geography and he works with Morgan Stanley earning craaaaazy money. So I had all the hope in the world that investing in a sound financial background will get me a job easily and propel me to the top. How wrong was I?

I’ve created tons of CVs, edited and re-edited my job titles, job roles,hobbies even edited my name. I’ve sent out my CV to approximately 30 companies every week for about 12 weeks. I have undersold my skills and exaggerated my experience to get through the door. Imagine an interviewer telling me I am over employed for the role, another telling me I live too far (1 hour away). It’s an employers’ market so they say what they like, pay what they like. I had a friend who applied for a cleaning job and he was given a 9 page form to fill (for real!). He went home and cried … and returned the completed form the next day … life goes on. The bills are piling up so fast, but my girlfriend has been so good to me. Yes my girlfriend…

She is 5″6, slim and beautiful, not just in the eye of the beholder. She’s a fashion editor for a magazine whose name I am not allowed to tell you. So unlike me, she’s got style in abundance. She could mix and match 5 colours on an outfit and still be the best dressed when we step out. She did not bother with University, degrees or qualifications. She went straight into the fashion industry after High School, served a few coffees, nodded to more bosses and now she is on a steady but promising climb to the top. She has achieved good success in such a short space of time. So she is fairly comfortable but level headed, that’s why she is still with me.

Like I said, I have been applying for jobs I could get without going to University.  So I finally got a call from an agency to arrange an interview with an unnamed company. The job role isn’t up my alley but I need any sort of legitimate cash. I kindly obliged and set a date for next week…

I’ve come to realise that nobody can tell the future. People might hold your hands to read your future when all it can really do is tell of your past. I don’t know how true it is but they say; “man proposes, God disposes”. What’s the point in saying “today or tomorrow I will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell and make profit, when I do not know what will happen tomorrow”. Life is a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Only God knows the future and He knows the beginning from the end, so in my ambitiousness and arrogance, I know where to rest my future – God’s hands.

By the way: my name is Asher and my girlfriend’s name is Asa. I’m sure you can tell what my pick up line was from our names.

The song on my playlist is …The Bridge – No sleeping on a bicycle

See you next week

Image from: http://londonsurvival.files.wordpress.com

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‘Lani ‘Aisida is a freelance writer, music entrepreneur and founder of G.R.I.P. You can follow him on twitter @griptime

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