She now has to deal with rejection, abandonment, a life of misery, a life without pleasure and those blissful moments one enjoys as a member of a family. She is afraid to confront her fears, downtrodden and never aspires beyond her limitations anymore. she has lost that voice that makes her sensitive, makes her accepted and quick to understand and what she feared could never happen is now visible. With depression raising its ugly head at every step she takes, her entire life is now based on reactions covered up with negative emotions and ill-feelings. How sour can it get? When the word “LOVE” has been totally erased from her world, everyone and everything surfaces as a threat to her happiness and those precious moments she cherished.
Endless days of turns-offs has jeopardized her relationships, as an attempt to engage in a conversation with her boils down to a one way communication (she talks and you listen). Her personal interest has become a major factor to the ruined relationships as she stands to be right always, not to mention her grievous choices of words which stir up anger and expose her frustration.
She is a thorn in the flesh, a pain in the neck, the last book you want to consult, the trouble you don’t want to meet, the desert with no hope, the worst experience ever, the last person you want to be close to, the women you don’t want to cuddle. She has become very defensive with negative communication style groomed with selfishness and unresolved issues. She is a control freak. She has become the sour soup her husband rejects at every glance. She is her problem.
“Bring back my children and leave my house, I want you no more” exclaims her husband through the phone. “When I came to your house did I meet the children in the house?” she replies. “I did this to myself, they told me not to go ahead with this marriage but I didn’t know I was in love with the worst man on earth” (Liar). Unburdening her agonies on her husband has become her daily routine. She wants to leave the house and run away with her kids leaving her sweet-turned-sour man all to himself. The path she dreaded most has become her sanctuary, the then foolish talks she got from wise fellows has become what she wants most. She still refuses to know she is her problem
Someone help her admit her faults and place them on the table of her understanding. Let her know she turned her man into a vampire, the type that sucks her emotional blood and strength, leaving her being vulnerable to emotional trauma.
She needs to know that men have egos that need no trampling on. He’s never raised a finger on her ruthless face but she hurts and relegates him to the background continuously with her degrading words which echoes from her challenging voice. On his part, he tried not to forgive and never understood that her strength comes when she is being authoritative. She never understood her man but claims she is in love. Her life has become a shattered glass screaming for repairs. She is her problem and she is her solution and someone has got to tell her.
She thinks he is her problem. But girl!!! Wake up!! Pick up yourself and realize your mistakes. He is so tired of your shouting and complains, your endless corrections irritate him. He is the father of your children; that man that made you once laugh. He doesn’t fancy you anymore but you can dispose your pride and fall on your feet, let Jesus take the wheel because you disconnected yourself a long time ago. Stop looking for whom to put the blame on. You are your problem; you are married to a man not to yourself so create a space for him. He has made mistakes by not playing his part well, yes, but you started this and with God you can end it. Treat him like a man and he will make a good man. He had a family where he was nurtured before you met and loved him. That family cried and laughed with him before you walked into his life, so create a space for his relations and stop creating enmity. For the bible says “he that finds a wife finds a good thing”. Be that one thing, that makes him feel alright.