Hey guys how is everyone doing?! Hope good? Lol! Ok so let me get straight to the point because this post may be long. Take note that I can be random sometimes lol. So recently (a few months now)
I have been….trying to find myself in a sense. Some may say its puberty, but why is it when I’m 20 years old that it’s happening? O_o . Smh. I’m not too cool with it because it gets me thinking a lot, which sometimes results to a pounding headache that just slows down your body.
I thank God I have found Christ because now so many questions are being answered, I’m knowing more about myself and about Christ and I now declare that true righteousness is my portion IJN! The thing is…as a guy, your competitive in nature and due to having eyes and ears which you observe and hear with respectively, you just want to be the best in the bunch. This leads to dissatisfaction with yourself. I mean don’t get me wrong, it didn’t bother me badly…like I wasn’t conscious everywhere I went or something lol! I just used to think a lot.
Being saved, all I should desire to be is like Christ and part of the problem was that I got that mixed up with personal characteristics and attributes. What I mean is that there are some people who are ‘comedians’, some who are quiet, some who are bubbly, some who are competitive etc. These may or may not contradict Christ’s lifestyle but I just didn’t understand the whole ‘concept’ of being like Christ but you at the same time. Personally, now I am a bubbly person (around friends and family) and I don’t want to say I am a comedian, but I definitely like to have a good laugh. Those who don’t know me may think I’m quiet….which is definitely not the case lol!
There was a time I used to frown a lot and bounce in my walk, and I came off looking like a gangsta so I definitely didn’t want to portray a gangsta because that just doesn’t flow lol! So some changes here and there took place eventually. The world says be you, yes true but ‘you’ have issues that need sorting out and man is sinful, so kill that flesh everyday so that God’s light can shine in you. I can be stubborn and hard hearted at times too, but that isn’t necessarily holy so I need to check myself on that.
But anyway now, I’m still growing and with prayer God is showing me the things I need to work and improve on to be the best man I can be, that man of God, that husband, that father, that friend…you know!
At a stage I was confused on how I was meant to be because I want to please God and make sure I was being a light in this dark world. But then God somehow told and showed me that He has made everyone different, and we should embrace our uniqueness and use it for the right purposes. I think I was thinking all this because I was very cautious about what others thought of me because I always wanted to be the light that He has called me to be…and I am someone who doesn’t mess with self image too, so all this lead me to thinking a lot and not being sure of my character in a sense! Hope you’re not confused?
Basically, instead of comparing yourself to others compare yourself to the Word of God and then make changes in any area that needs it so you can be on the right path. Make sure your characteristics don’t get in the way of you becoming that man or woman of God. Don’t let character affect your heart and the things you do….I have learnt to just do what is required of me to do.
So yeah I have found myself and it’s a ‘growth’ thing for me right now as I’ll soon become the man God wants me to be. Hope y’all do too. There’s a scripture that assures us we will – He will surely finish the work that He has started in you, and all things work together for good for those that love Him….or something like that, I don’t know the scripture but yeah. With this in mind there should be no sense of worry in your system lol.
By Rotimi Ariwoola