“He snores loudly; his accent is too strong; he slurps his food; his finger nails are untidy…gosh, he’s not even that cute.”… “What am I doing here?” Yes, what are you doing with a man you clearly have trouble being with? Ever heard the saying “if you can’t be with the one you love; love the one you’re with”? While I understand that writer’s perspective, I do think there are many things wrong with loving someone out of obligation almost. But we do it every day don’t we? We do it with our families…they drive us out of our minds but we still have to love them right? Yes, but you don’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends and especially your significant other. Many things have lost their value today because people think that they have to do them. Sex has become so cheap you can buy it off the street; when God intended for it to be a beautiful, intimate act that you share with your one and only. Even marriage (pass the tissue) has lost its value. It feels more like a dress rehearsal than a sacred promise; if the first dress doesn’t fit, bring on the next one.

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Don’t ever stay in a relationship out of obligation. Think about it! If you commit yourself to a guy because you feel you have to, that relationship is better off non-existent. There’s no passion; nothing worth fighting for…in fact it’s unfair to the poor fella and bad for you because somewhere out there, your Adam could be walking around never knowing. Plus when you’re with a guy you’re not really feeling, then you start on everything they do; all their old habits that were “okay” before become irritating and piss you off. Save the poor dude yo’ drama and make yourself happy.

Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d be saying “shouda, couda, woudasss the rest of your life”…Honestly, that’s just depressing. Love in its ideal form flows naturally, relationships take work, but it’s for love’s sake that we continue. Finding a man is the easy part. Keeping a man and the relationship going is the hard part. It takes work that you sometimes don’t feel like doing. Don’t run at the first sign of danger. Sometimes patience, at the expense of doing what you want to do, is best. If you truly love someone and you see God’s hand in your relationship, then my sister stay and fight for your relationship. You might have to find new ways to solve old problems…Hey, if you want different results, change your strategy.

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So here’s the final rap, we are all in relationships; some are a necessity, others are not. Some are healthy, others are not so healthy. In the matters of the heart, we were designed to experience the best kind of love there is in God and with our significant others. Don’t be in a hurry to settle down that you settle for less and stay for all the wrong reasons. Embrace life, love yourself and keep your eyes (and heart) peeled for Mr. Godsend.

By Ibukun Jaiyeola

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