At some point in our lives, each of us has come across at least one phrase on proximities in dating. “Out of sight is out of mind”, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder…but proximity gets the kiss.” Wherever or however you’ve heard it, you’ve heard it. So what is it about long-distance relationships in particular that gets us talking? Is it the music around us that feeds us with longing? “This long distance is killing me…” I hate to downplay anyone’s feeling, but believe it or not we are ALL in some kind of long-distance relationship. The difference is not in the distance, it’s in the intimacy.
When you moved off to college away from your family and friends, if you did, I’m pretty sure you did not spend the next four years of your life replaying sad love songs and sitting in bed comforting yourself with pictures. If that happened to you…I’m so sorry. Realistically though, chances are you didn’t do any of those things. Basically when we think long-distance relationships we only think of romantic ones. I personally think that it wouldn’t be as hard if we thought about it the way we think of every other long distance relationship, but truly we can’t. The kind of love a partner provides isn’t the same as the love you receive from a parent or friends so why treat it as such right? Agreed, long-distance relationships are hard and they suck. So why bother with them? I don’t have a straight answer for you off the top of my head, but I can try.
I want to believe that no one in their right mind would go into a long-distance relationship if they didn’t see a future in it. If you are in one and you don’t see yourself with that person, why on God’s green earth are you wasting your time? LDR isn’t exactly a hobby that you while away time with; it’s a commitment- an emotional investment. Think about the friends that you stay in touch with despite the distance. You spend your time and “credit” on them because you consider that friendship worthwhile. Well the same goes for LDR. It’s an investment that the parties consider worthwhile and so they commit to it. You love the other person; you can see a future with them. Both of you have to be in agreement and understand it, but more importantly you should see God’s hand in it.
Long-distance isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t have the heart or patience for it. It requires a lot of commitment and can really be frustrating. For married couples, they have to sleep alone at night after getting used to the comfort of a partner next to them. For the unmarried couples, they have to keep reaffirming themselves of their love for each other and reminding themselves why they even bother. Can long distance relationships work? Yes and No, it depends. Ask yourself how far or long you are willing to go. Will you disown your sister because you haven’t seen her in a few years and your internet sucks so you can’t Skype? Of course it’s not the same thing, she’s your sister not your boyfriend. So why bother?