Standing just two inches before me, I can feel the heat of His body exuding from the remarkable force of power that He is, like a consuming fire. With my eyes dead shut, I have no idea what my environment holds today. It feels like it’s the first day of my life and I’m not quite sure how to handle it as a fully grown adult. This is so new for me. I’m learning how to love, what love is, who love is and why it is that we love. Don’t know if it has anything to do with that warm and fuzzy feelings we get when we think about someone we really care about, like I am feeling right now. It’s like everyone of the billions of cells in my body is desperately itching for His touch. I yearn to hear Him speak. I ache to feel His arms wrapped up around me; to have Him hold my face in His palm like it were the entire world. He inches further, so intimately close to me that the very breath of His nostrils becomes the air that fills my lungs. His body scent fills my senses such that sleep no longer feels soothing and relaxing anymore, awakening to see Him is all I need to be at ease. In the might of His power and the illumination of the Understanding of His love for me, I take in a deep breath of the air He’s exhaled, all my organs come alive. Like the school bell that disengages children from their classrooms into the playing field, filling the once serene learning environment with buzzes of excitement; cackles of laughter springing forth in the air, lines of banter exchanged and the once relaxed muscles of tamed children heat up as they run all over the porch and corridors, such was the explosion of life that was sparked from that one final lung inflation. Like the sight of an empty well, His depth kept sucking and drawing me, to come alive and come to Him.
My eyes burst open to see the most magnificent sight. Awe-some is too small a measure to describe how much He is. He emanated light and glory. Where are the Cherubims and Seraphims? This is the one they should bow down to all day for all eternity. Adoration was all my heart knew and praise for Him was all my lips could send out. My mind failed to articulate words that would do justice to the immense being He is. Something about Him that I couldn’t quite place. He had the care of a Father, the protection of an older brother, and the gentle nature of the Spirit’s zephyr which settles on you like a dove. They say you don’t forget your first love, well how can I when all I can see is Him. He occupies my thoughts day and night, to conceive another person in His place for a split second is the only impossibility I know. When we stand together with His hands weaved through mine, I feel so confident; it feels like I can conquer and subdue the world. My mother used to tell me I could be anything I wanted to be, I never believed her because I knew she was just being nice and trying to inspire her little baby. But this, this is beyond pep talk, His voice unlocks the realm of possibilities so much that I believe I can seat at the right hand of God the Father in heaven.
Like I said, I’m learning to love, I’m learning who love is, why we love. I’m plunging into its depths, ascending its heights, treading its width and breadth. I know its dimensions, my mind cannot totally comprehend, but while I live, I’ll make sure I keep digging this reality. It’s all I know. It’s all I see. It’s all there is. Just like Adam’s first day awakening to meet God standing right in front of Him, coming alive from God’s very own breath, I came alive the day I saw Love; the day I saw God. For God is Love. Love didn’t happen at the first sighting of an individual, He is the first sight (the first) man (Adam) ever saw. We saw Him first so we could never lose sight of the absolute reality – His majesty.
Yours with a quill,
Image from jesusplus.org