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Trust Issues

by Yada MagazineAugust 27, 2015

I have trust issues. But then again, we all do. Okay, Maybe not all of us, just most of us. Or maybe not most of us, just a lot of us. No, maybe not a lot of us, just few of us. Or then again, I think it’s still just me… Who knows!

It’s not that I have trouble telling someone things about me because I fear they could use it against me in some way, or even betray me (of which we should all take caution for), it’s that I just have an issue with the way trust is used. Let me re-phrase, trust has issues. Or better yet, we have issues with our understanding of trust.

There’s a world of a difference between ‘trusting’ someone and ‘trusting in’ someone. Let me attempt to explain. When you ‘trust’ someone, it means that you put a measure of confidence in that person that they could do, or not do something. Better said, it is a belief that you can rely on someone in a circumstance of some sort. Say, I trust you with my money, it means that I (have some measure of confidence and) can rely on you to not steal from my wallet, or from where I stashed my cash when I give you my keys and travel for the weekend. However, to ‘trust in’ someone or something, is to place the sum-total (or at the very least, a portion) of my being in your hands believing that you have the power to make happen all that I expect from life as a whole and myself as an individual; it’s believing that my capacity to perform is dependent on you. Perhaps a more accurate word would be ‘entrust’. So, a lot of the times, when we say we trust someone, what we’re actually saying is that we entrust ourselves in their care, which often makes us to misjudge their actions to be a deliberate attempt to hurt us (even though some might) and not realising that it’s actually a sign of their weaknesses.

The dilemma is that we often do not know whom to apportion which, for one is an exclusive reserve of God. They are fundamentally different, but essentially the same: in that they both require your belief (understanding) and hope (expectations). We trust men, and place our trust in God. That does not mean that we don’t trust God; we trust God and place out trust in Him. With men, we simply just trust them (the ones we know of course), period! That’s why the Psalmist mentions that some ‘trust in’ their shields, horses and chariots, but we TRUST IN the name of the Lord (see Psalm 20:7). I trust (have some measure of confidence) that my shield would be able to block an attack from a sword, but I do not place my trust in the shield to save me from battle, only God can do that! So, if it happens that I lose a battle, I don’t blame the shield, I ask God why (and this is an entirely different subject altogether which could host a variety of reasons ranging from, Him teaching me a lesson, me not preparing/praying enough, it wasn’t time to engage in the battle, disobedience of the instruction of not even fighting at all, to even lack of sensitivity to God’s leading).

When Jesus admonishes that we should turn the other cheek when slapped (see Matthew 5:39) you could take from it that, we should (in spite of men’s — which includes us — shortcomings) still give people the opportunity to be relied on; we should accord them another chance. Meaning that, if my girlfriend were to, say, cheat on me, (after feeling the pain of being ‘slapped’) I should still give her another chance to be relied on. I should still hold some confidence and belief that she would stay committed/faithful to the relationship. However, I do not place the capacity of making the relationship work in her hands, that’s an exclusive reserve of God. I only trust that she would allow God to work on her (and me too). After all, we only over come evil with good, not by excommunication (see Romans 12:21).

Yours with a quill,
Daudu Daniel
www.daududaniel.com

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